How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
