You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Your cock deserves a montage
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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