they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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