I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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