He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
sex in a hospital.. check
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
