I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
