Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
