then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
