pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
