Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

go do what you do best...puke behind churches

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(302): View more from Delaware

I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night

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(727): View more from Florida

he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?

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(819): View more from Quebec

He was spoon feeding me wine all night.

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(765): View more from Indiana

My grandma had to be escorted out by police.

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(907): View more from Alaska

You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.

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(858): View more from California

You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.

(605): View more from South Dakota

Desperate times...

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(925): View more from California

You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.

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