listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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