He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
