He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
