She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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