dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you will always have a special place in my vag
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
