But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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