I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
