there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
