Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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