why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
