she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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