Can i not drive my cunt home
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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