I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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