Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize