Tell her she can't have a vagina
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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