this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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