anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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