My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize