its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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