all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Randomize
