She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
