I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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