the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Someone signed my nipple.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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