Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
