Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
