Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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