I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
