So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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