Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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