I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
porn star boner night. come get it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
