It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Randomize
