we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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