i think my tv is drunk
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Say something about gay babies.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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