So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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