I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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