I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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