i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
