i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Randomize
