My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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