i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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