Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
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