Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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