Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
