I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
