I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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