I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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