New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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