Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
